The Spanish Muse

If you’ve taken a Romance language, you know that everything sounds better in a foreign language than in English. I took Spanish in high school and even a phrase like “I just took a giant shit ” sounded like poetry when spoken with that beautiful Spanish phrasing.

The same can be said about actress Penelope Cruz, who hails from central Spain. She shines in roles in her native tongue, bringing equal parts unbridled passion and effortless poise to her characters. Yet, when cast in English-speaking parts, like in Sahara or Vanilla Sky, she comes across as limp and out of her element.

Pedro Almodóvar, who directed her in Todo sobre mi madre and Volver and serves as her mentor, brings out an expressiveness and vibrancy in her that simply isn’t matched in any of her English-speaking roles. The director regularly portrays in his films that a beautiful woman has much more going on internally than just being beautiful, and Cruz’s depiction of a flawed, yet strong-willed single mother in Volver proves this.

Her screen presence is unmistakable. In Vicky Cristina Barcelona, when Cruz mentors Scarlett Johansson in photography, her movements and expressions were so consuming that I didn’t even realize I was watching someone acting in a film until the next scene change. Frequently in VCB, Cruz goes off on an impassioned rant in Spanish and Javier Bardem’s character begs her to speak in English so that others can understand. What he doesn’t understand is that that’s when she comes alive.

It also doesn’t hurt that Cruz is drop-dead, a fact that Almodóvar never fails to make apparent in his films (see screenshot from Volver below). All eyeliner and graceful voluptuousness, Cruz commands the screen.

DVDBeaver

Her next big film role is Nine, with Daniel Day-Lewis and Marion Cotillard, which opens Christmas day. Nine is a movie musical based off of  8½ by director Federico Fellini, another one of my idols.

List of the Week: Movies I Want to See This Summer

18 more days until I graduate.

Still haven’t decided 100% where I’m going to college, but wherever I end up going, I can’t wait to get there. With AP tests and the hoopla in these final months as graduation nears, I haven’t been able to spend much time on this blog. I used to spend my AP Government class writing posts, but then we had to focus on APs. Now that that dreaded test is over, we’ll be watching The West Wing every day!

In between roaming around with friends and family and working, I want to see these movies this summer:

(500) Days of Summer

Gracias to CineTVMania

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The Brothers Bloom

Gracias to Kristenet

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Sin Nombre

Gracias to Movie Cafe

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Up

Gracias to First Showing

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Somewhat skeptical about this…but I’ll still see it:

Away We Go

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I don’t actually know when this is going to get a wider release:

Lymelife

Gracias to Beat Lyme

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Oh, and Harry Potter of course.

Roger Ebert’s Journal

Being a film critic involves taking a lot of flak. Setting yourself up for a lot of hatred from Hollywood for expressing a negative opinion. People telling you bitterly that you should try making a movie. Dealing with hexes (more on this below).

Roger Ebert has dealt with all of this and more, always in a uniquely respectful and civilized fashion. He infuses each review with a level of humanistic understanding and wisdom that transcends any other reviews you may read on blogs or even in other newspapers. Almost immediately after watching a movie, I go onto his website to read his review. I come out of it with life lessons and a more cohesive understanding of the work.

I like this quote from his review of Not Another Teen Movie (2001):

“I have here a heartfelt message from a reader who urges me not to be so hard on stupid films, because they are “plenty smart enough for the average moviegoer.” Yes, but one hopes being an average moviegoer is not the end of the road: that one starts as a below-average filmgoer, passes through average, and, guided by the labors of America’s hard-working film critics, arrives in triumph at above-average.”

A lot of people say that they watch mediocre movies because they’re fun and not everything good has to be a fancy award-winner. True, but it doesn’t mean you can’t try to improve your taste so you get more out of movies. Challenge yourself, watch a difficult movie and think about it for a day. It might just bump you up to above-average in no time.

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Gracias to Gone Elsewhere

So about hexes. Ebert gave Vincent Gallo (pictured above) a very negative review of his movie The Brown Bunny (2003), which he wrote, produced, and directed. He called it the worst film in the history of the Cannes Film Festival. Gallo, an utterly annoying human being who is currently selling his sperm on his web site for a million bucks, retorted by calling Ebert a “fat pig with the physique of a slave trader.” Good one, Vincent. That outta hurt. Ebert responded: “One day I will be thin, but Vincent Gallo will always be the director of The Brown Bunny.” Gallo, class act that he is, proclaimed to have then put a hex on Ebert’s colon, striking him with cancer! Ebert replied by saying that a video of his colonoscopy would be more entertaining than watching The Brown Bunny.” After that, Gallo fumbled around and said he was misquoted – apparently the whole thing was a joke that was misinterpreted by an interviewer.

Ebert’s basically my idol. He was the first person to be awarded a Pulitzer Prize for Criticism. He was the first film critic to be presented with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Unfortunately, he is no longer able to appear on the weekend review show, Ebert & Roeper. Ironically, he underwent surgery in 2006 to remove cancer in his right jaw, which included taking out a portion of his jaw bone.

He went from looking like this:

Gracias to FOX

to this:

Gracias to Aaron’s Tracheostromy Page

He still writes reviews that are posted on his website and regularly updates his blog, Roger Ebert’s Journal — one of the best out there. Really insightful posts with the most insightful comments. I think I want to make a movie just so I could read Ebert’s review. Even if it was painfully critical. I’d want him to completely tear it apart with the most mercilessly eviscerating, imaginative prose.

Texas Forever

Good news, Friday Night Lights fans! By fans, I mean the twenty people who watch the show. NBC’s Friday Night Lights has officially been given two more seasons! NBC and DirecTV finalized the deal for two last thirteen-episode seasons of this critically acclaimed, but sadly viewer-less show. It will return in the fall.

Now that the show has been given a third chance (it was brought back for another season after a near cancellation last winter), it’s time to focus on viewership. A lot of people are under the misconception that Friday Night Lights is only about football. It’s a drama/comedy…it’s not Monday Night Football. The show is set in a small town in Texas where, yes, football is a cornerstone of life. Much that happens revolves around it, but not everything is defined by it. In a typical show, only ten minutes tops are devoted to the actual football game. The rest deals with the relationships, struggles, hopes, and triumphs of the community in Dillon, Texas.

Gracias to Fanpop

Premise: Eric Taylor moves with his wife, Tami, and his teenage daughter, Julie, to Dillon. He has been hired as the new high school football coach. I would not want his job. He works crazy hours, he has to deal with irresponsible, cocky, and at times, inexperienced football players, he has to parent his increasingly rebellious daughter, and he tries to balance his “husband” and “friend” roles with his wife. The same story has been told countless times in countless inspirational sports films. The difference is that this show doesn’t have to come to a satisfactory ending after 90 minutes. Eric does not magically transform the unruly team with his unorthodox methods and his “faith” in their potential. He’s rude to them and they’re rude to him. But they learn from each other. Still, even after three seasons, hardly anything is hunky-dory. They all deal and move on.

Gracias to Tapeworthy

As you might recognize now, a huge pull for me in TV shows is realism. I like it when the writers create characters who could be real people, not contrived caricatures that fit into a niche. Matt Saracen is a shy, stuttering QB2 who is thrust into the spotlight after the star quarterback is paralyzed in the first episode. His dad’s in Iraq and he hardly has time for a social life when he’s at home, taking care of his dementia-stricken grandmother. Tim Riggins (hottie), an older player, reminds me of River Phoenix’s character in Stand By Me. He feels he is doomed to the same fate as his brother and father, uneducated and taking menial jobs to live a drunken existence. The other characters are equally dynamic. The show also has a real sense for the locations and mannerisms in the South.The parties the teenagers attend, the cookouts the parents host, the tense meetings Eric has in his office, and the local diner gossip are all pitch perfect.

Check out this show! I don’t watch any football and I love Friday Night Lights, so don’t be deterred for that reason. Tami and Eric’s relationship is reason enough to watch it. They are hands down the best married couple on television ever.

Gracias to TV Guide

List of the week: Worst actors working today

Some people are just naturally gifted actors. It’s in their blood; that, or they just work really hard at their craft. Some, on the other hand, are naturally awful actors. They are painful to watch on-screen. And inexplicably, they still churn out movie after movie. So here’s a list of some men I consider the worst actors working today. I didn’t include people I don’t even consider actors, so I apologize to Larry the Cable Guy. In no particular order:

KEANU REEVES

Gracias to Blue Delusions

Criminal Offenses: The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Matrix, Little Buddha, The Lake House, Constantine, Thumbsucker, … is there any point of even continuing?
This post on one of my favorite blogs chronicles the many faces of Keanu Reeves.
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PAUL WALKER

Gracias to 4 out of 10

Criminal Offenses: Into the Blue, The Fast and the Furious, Joy Ride, Running Scared
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NICOLAS CAGE

Gracias to ABC

Criminal Offenses: Ghost Rider, National Treasure, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, The Wicker Man
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BEN AFFLECK

Gracias to GraphicsHunt

Criminal Offenses: Gigli, Paycheck, Daredevil, Surviving Christmas
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EDDIE MURPHY

Gracias to New River Voice

Criminal Offenses: Norbit, Daddy Day Care, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Meet Dave
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HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN

Gracias to the Liberty Film Festival

Criminal Offenses: Star Wars (1-3), Jumper
He is hot, though. I’ll give him that.
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DANE COOK

Gracias to Make Five

Criminal Offenses: Employee of the Month, Good Luck Chuck, My Best Friend’s Girl
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And the list goes on…

Who do you think are some of the worst actors working today?

You’re so beautiful, it hurts to look at you

What I love about the short-lived series My So-Called Life (1993) is that it understands me more than I understand myself. My life isn’t exactly the same as Angela Chase’s, but I see the same feelings and conversations manifested in her character, almost frighteningly. I just listen to her voice over during scenes thinking, “That’s so me.”

Gracias to http://www.boston.com

The show is about Angela, an awkward 15-year-old living in the Pittsburgh suburbs. She’s in a transitional stage, moving away from her innocent childhood best friend toward the edgier club hopping, hip flask-swilling, class-ditching Rayanne and bisexual Ricky. They convince her to dye her hair “crimson glow” to mark the dawn of her new life.

Angela is in love with a boy at school: Jordan Catalano. She loves the way he is always closing his eyes and leaning against stuff. He’s the quintessential bad boy with a secret learning disability. Then there’s Brian, her neighbor. He’s the dorky guy with big curly hair who answers every question in class. It is often said that whether you rooted for Jordan or Brian is very telling of your personality.

Gracias to guardian.co.uk

My So-Called Life is famously known as a show canceled way before its time. It was pulled after one short season. What a shame. The show is very true-to-life; it almost seems like the screenwriters are transcribing real life moments they had in high school. Instead of dealing with teen issues in “A Very Special Episode of…” style, things like school violence, same-sex parenting, teenage alcoholism, drug use, and the pressure to have sex are woven into the plot naturally. Seriously, shows that proclaim to uncover the Secret Life of the American Teenager can gtfo, because they are completely far fetched.

Where was I? Ah, yes. All the characters are sympathetic and often misunderstood souls, each given his or her due character development. From Angela’s schoolmates to her parents, the creators really took the time to let the characters exist in their own skin, as real people with real problems. Even though it came out over 15 years ago, the show is just as fresh, honest, and relevant today as it ever was.

Here are Angela’s thoughts on sex:

Angela: [narrating] I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The, like, fact that – that people – had sex. That they just *had* it, like sex was this thing people – *had*, like a rash. Or a – a Rottweiler. Everything started to seem like, pornographic or something. Like, Mrs. Krysanowski has sex. So does Mr. Katimsky. They both have sex. They could – have sex together. Like right now.
[groans]

The DVD set came out in 2007, if you want to check it out. There are also full episodes on YouTube.

Adios Totes McGotes

Pardon my French, but I Love You, Man is the best effing comedy I’ve seen all year (and probably will see all year).

Gracias to Paramount Pictures

Peter (Paul Rudd) just got engaged to Zooey (Rashida Jones), who has many close girlfriends. He, however, has no close male friends. He has always been very devoted to his girlfriends over the years and never spent time developing lasting friendships with men. Since his wedding is coming up and he is without a Best Man, Peter goes on a series of “man-dates” to find a BFF. After the predictable slew of ridiculous potential friends, Peter meets Sydney Fife (Jason Segal). This is when the movie truly begins.

Sydney is the coolest friend a guy (or girl) could have. He enjoys people-watching and is a keen observer of men who wait until their significant other is at a far enough distance to release a fart. He rides a Vespa and lives in a wooden cottage right by the Venice boardwalk. His “Man Cave” houses many television sets, movie posters, strange artifacts, a wet bar, and all the instruments for a four-hour jam session. He’s open and sincere and constantly introduces Peter to new, exciting things. Inexplicably though, he wears swimming trunks and Uggs when walking his dog on the sandy beach.

I particularly loved the inclusion of Rush songs in the movie, especially “Tom Sawyer.” Funny enough, in Segal’s earlier work in Freaks and Geeks (1999), he played a high school burnout who idolized Neil Peart.

The movie pans out like a typical romantic comedy, though more between Peter and Sydney than Peter and his fiancee. It doesn’t even matter if its formulaic. You’ll be laughing too hard to notice. I will literally watch anything with Paul Rudd; he is so cringe-inducingly awkward in this movie, it’s delightful. He says the weirdest phrases on the planet, and I can’t wait til more people see this so I can get some kind of a listing of all of the random stuff he blurts out at the end of conversations.

Gracias to the New York Daily News

If you liked Knocked Up, Superbad, or Forgetting Sarah Marshall, you will love this. And like all of these movies, the glue that holds it all together is the stream of side characters who pop up sporadically for only a minute or so, but manage to be what people talk about once the movie is over.

I saw this today with my good friend, Lauren, who can out-shriek anyone when it comes to laughing. She has had many an old lady turn around and shush her. If you ever wonder what that warped, high-pitched shrieking is at the end of Main, it is Lauren. We both love previews, almost as much as the movie itself. Anyway, we noticed that Ryan Reynolds is in every movie coming out in 2009. Every trailer we saw had Ryan Reynolds in it. It was very strange.

This movie is Rated R.

Farewell

Natasha Richardson, 45, died today of injuries from a recent skiing accident on a beginner’s slope in Quebec. You might remember her as the mother in The Parent Trap (1998). She was a Tony-award winning stage actress and the wife of actor Liam Neeson. Such a sudden and tragic death. Her family didn’t see it coming at all. After she fell, she showed no signs of injury and felt fine. An hour later, she was reportedly not feeling well and an ambulance was called. She was a pretty cool cat.

Gracias to Flixster

List of the week: Movies about high school teachers

The only thing that really excited me about hearing there would be a National Honors Society assembly today was that my classes would be cut down by ten minutes.  In my years here, NHS assemblies have not been the most exciting or moving of assemblies. They tend to consist of a droning keynote speech, a long slide show, and more speeches.

However, I was pleasantly surprised today. The speaker, a middle school teacher who was involved with the establishing of the KIPP Heartwood Academy, really captured my attention. She spoke about the challenges of teaching in underfunded urban schools with bad track records. She described students who had given up on themselves and their teachers and had resigned themselves to self-fulfilling prophecies. Despite the odds against her, the teacher started a school that took similar kids and turned them into students who value education, respect one another, and dream of going to college. I tutored many of them every other Saturday in my junior year and felt almost useless. These kids were so smart and well-behaved, they hardly needed my help.

By not paying teachers their worth, our state is shirking its responsibility to encourage quality teaching in its schools. We pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to engineers, technicians, and web developers to fuel innovation, but a tiny, tiny fraction of that is paid to our teachers. How many of you have had truly life-changing teachers in your life?

On that note, I’m going to feature scenes from well-made movies about teachers who did more than lecture into space:

Gracias to Natural Selections

Dead Poets Society : On his first day as English teacher at an all boys boarding school, John Keating (Robin Williams) instructs a student to read the preface of his poetry book. He then tells the boy, and all the boys in the class, to rip the page straight out of their books and throw it on the floor. He deems it rubbish. He tells the students that they can call him “Oh Captain! My Captain! (the title of a Walt Whitman poem) if they feel daring. He tells them to stand on their desks so they remember to always look at things with a new perspective. They boys stare at him incredulously. Keating then leads them outside and instructs them on the doctrine of “carpe diem.” Seizing the day.

Note: Robin Williams said that he chose to play John Keating because he was the kind of teacher he wished he had.

Gracias to ScreenRush

Freedom Writers : New teacher Erin Gruwell has a tough job. She is a white teacher at a school full of minorities. The cap? They all hate her. One day, she places a long piece of red tape down the center of the room and tells her students to stand on opposite sides of the room. She successively asks students to walk up to the line if a series of categories apply to them. Do they know where to buy drugs; have they ever been shot at; do they know anyone in a gang; do they know anyone who has died from gang violence. The numbers of students who approach the line is astounding. She brings her at-risk students face to face – the asians who hate the mexicans who hate the blacks.

Note: This movie is based on the book called “The Freedom Writers Diary” by Erin Gruwell and the kids of Wilson High. True story.

Gracias to EW

Stand and Deliver is also really good, though I haven’t seen it in a while. Also a true story. Favorite line: “Hey Kimo, you proud of me? I’m the first one here! What’s Cal-cool-us?”

Get the most bang for your buck

You know those days when you’re completely bored and decide to mosey into a theater and see a random movie? Maybe you’ve seen the trailer a few months earlier. Maybe you read a one-sentence description of the movie in the paper. Maybe just you went up to the cashier and mentally stabbed at a movie and purchased a ticket. In general, you have no idea if the movie was publicly or critically regarded as good, bad, or “aite.”

I don’t know that feeling. See, I can’t see a movie in theaters without hitting up at least two of my go-to sites. Among those are Roger Ebert’s web site, the Internet Movie Database, or rottentomatoes.com. If a movie gets bad reviews, I wont see it at all. If it gets lukewarm or mixed bag reviews, DVD! It’s that simple.

Gracias to Correctional Service Canada

In our economy, it’s important to weigh in many factors when spending an extortionate $10 on a movie, not including another ten on popcorn and other concession stand confections. I don’t want to sit down to see a movie that induces my gag reflex. I don’t want to sit and watch a movie that bores me for two and a half hours. And I don’t want to see a movie that I will walk out of a half hour later. It’s not the best use of my time or money.

I recommend talking to people who have seen the film in question, or check out the above web sites to get a sense of the quality of the film. I don’t know anyone who would willingly want to see a bad movie. You might save a chunk of change and a headache.

Utterly delightful stuff, spider-monkey!

There is a slight exception, however. If the movie is so bad its good and gone back to bad again, go ahead and watch it. True camp is hard to come by these days. I spent the best $10 watching Twilight last November, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard at a movie in recent memory.

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New Gossip Girl episode tonight at 8 pm on the CW. I can’t help but tune in, even though this show continues to push the limits of absolute absurdity. Thanks, classical conditioning! I can’t imagine who Nate is going to find to bone next. He’s already had sex with every female on the show, with the exception of Blair and Serena’s moms. Good self-control, Nate.

Gracias to the CW. I wonder what whiny face Jessica Szohr is going to pull out of her repertoire tonight!