It’s not who you love, it’s how

In keeping with the spirit of the wonderful “Gay Marriage and a Chocolate Chip Cookie” assembly in the gym today, I decided to feature a movie called Chasing Amy (1997).

Gracias to View Askew

Directed by the unmatchable Kevin Smith, the movie asks the tough questions about love and relationships. Holden (Ben Affleck) falls for Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams), despite the fact that she is a lesbian. Both are comic book artists who meet at a convention and Holden is crushed when he realizes her sexual orientation. Blooming against the grungy backdrop of numerous sexually explicit conversations between Alyssa and Holden’s friends is the friendship the two protagonists share and the consequences that ensue when they take it to the next level. Don’t expect a happy ending. It’s bittersweet in every sense of the word.

Gracias to View Askew

What I love about this movie is how candid it is. The actors talk like real people in real situations, with very little glamorized for a cinematic feel. It’s heartbreaking, but perfectly offset with moments of bawdy, witty comedy by way of Silent Bob, Jay, and Banky. This and Good Will Hunting (1997) are the only movies I can tolerate Ben Affleck in. Chasing Amy really woke me up to relationships and the fact that they rarely go the way you planned them. They require you to venture outside your preconceived notions into a brand new territory of past and present experiences. While this movie might not provide you with the expected saccharine happy ending, it might just give you some heightened understanding on human emotional dynamics.

Take this speech by Alyssa, for example:

Alyssa Jones: You know, I didn’t just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it’s the natural way, that kind of thing. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you–it’s so rare. My parents didn’t really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn’t. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.
Holden McNeil: Still am.
Alyssa Jones: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you were a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who’d complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, ’cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn’t look. And for me that makes all the difference.

I highly recommend you check this out – it offers a unique insight into the complexities of gay and lesbian relationships. The film is Rated R.

Here’s one of my favorite movie speeches of all time:

This funky grandma be trippin’! Tonight 9:30 NBC

Move over, The Office. The new show to claim its place as the best comedy series currently on the silver screen is 30 Rock. The show is about Liz Lemon, the hapless head-writer of an NBC sketch comedy show, who struggles to keep her new boss (Alec Baldwin) and self-absorbed actors (Tracy Morgan and Jane Krakowski) in line, while juggling her countless idiosyncrasies. The show mirrors Tina Fey’s own life as head-writer of Saturday Night Live.

Tina Fey is self-deprecating to the max here. There are VERY few shows that are so consistently funny week after week. And there are few people in the entertainment industry higher to me than Tina Fey. She’s won numerous Emmys, Golden Globes, and Screen Actors Guild awards for the show, and it’s only in its third season.

Mmmm she loves those Sabor de Soledad chips. Gracias to Pat Barrett.

Fey plays Liz Lemon, a woman who cares more about her friends than what others think about her (she strips down to her bra and dances at a business conference to take the heat off of a co-worker who embarrassed himself). Her dates all end in disasters (one guy accidentally opens the bathroom door as she’s going #2), she’s not respected at work (her writers sometimes throw food at her), and she pigs out like a little kid after Lent (she wolfed down an entire hoagie before passing through an airport check-in station). Despite her flaws, she stands proud, undeterred, and often unappreciated.

The true strength of the show lies in the comedic abilities of the entire ensemble cast. There’s not a rotten egg in the bunch.

Gracias to NBC

There’s Tracy Jordan, the new actor on the show who could read the phone book and make me shoot orange juice out my nose. Kenneth the Page is a completely innocent and chaste Southern lad from Louisiana who has always dreamed of working in television – DO NOT touch his page jacket (he has recently been in the news for sounding frighteningly like the esteemed Bobby Jindal). Then there’s Frank with his obnoxious hats, Jenna with her bordering-on-disturbing body image issues, and Jack Donaghy, of course, the new boss of the conglomerate – he believes strongly in the rich white male Republican way of thinking.

Seriously, this show is off tha heezy fo sheezy. Aside from The Office, which seriously needs to get its booty in gear, 30 Rock is the only sitcom I watch.

Here are some clips that will only truly shine in their comedic glory if you start watching the show!

List of the Week: 80s Movies

When I first became a cinephile, teen 80s movies were my bread and butter. I was obsessed with the flashy outfits, cheesy romances, the drum-heavy pop hits, the stereotypical high school characters, and the way they defined kitsch. It became my goal in 8th grade to watch every single teenage 80s movie I could get my hands on. Ask my friends about “the phase.” Despite my love of the countless  ridiculous 80s romantic comedies that introduced me to the two Coreys, Patrick Dempsey, and the infamous “Top That” rap, I am going to list some movies that I feel represent the cream of the crop of teenage 80s movies.

In no particular order:

Gracias to SodaHead

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) contains just about every issue horny teenagers could encounter in high school: topless females, pot smoking, masturbation, cheating on tests, cherry-popping, lengthy sex talks, and pregnancy. Kind of like Degrassi: The Next Generation, except with better acting, better writing, and humor. It’s worth a look just to see Sean Penn (pre-thorny stick up his butt) play Jeff Spicoli, a perennially wasted surfer, who pesters his teacher, Mr. Hand.

Here’s fellow student Mike Damone dispensing some sage wisdom to a friend (aka the five-point plan):

Mike Damone: First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. “Oh, Debbie. Hi.” Two, you always call the shots. “Kiss me. You won’t regret it.” Now three, act like wherever you are, that’s the place to be. “Isn’t this great?” Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It’s a classy move. “Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice.” And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

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Gracias to Reel Film Reviews

Say Anything… (1989) was ranked by Entertainment Weekly as the greatest modern movie romance. The movie is about Lloyd Dobler, a recent high school graduate, underachiever, and kickboxer, who pursues brainy, ambitious Diane Court. Every line hits the right note, every scene is memorable, and Lloyd Dobler pretty much sits on the highest pedestal of ideal guys; he’s genuine, sincere, unambiguous in his feelings, and caring for all the people in his life. WATCH THIS!

Here’s Lloyd going over plans with his best friends (female):

Lloyd Dobler: I’m gonna take Diane Court out again.
Corey Flood: Well, that’s unlikely.
Lloyd Dobler: Is the movies a good second date? You know, as a date?
Corey Flood: Well, you never had a first date.
Lloyd Dobler: Yes we did. I sat across from her at a mall. We ate together. We ate. That’s eating. Sharing an important physical event.
Corey Flood: That’s not even a scam.
Lloyd Dobler: What’s a scam?
Corey Flood: Going out as friends.
D.C.: No, it’s not. Scam is lusting.

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Gracias to First Friday Collective

Ah, The Breakfast Club (1985). The inevitable choice. After having seen this movie as many times as I’ve drank a latte (trust me – that’s a lot), it’s hard to retain the exuberant view I had of the movie, say the first three times I watched it. Still, this is the jewel atop the crown of John Hughes high school movies. It explores the alienation and insecurities of members of typical high school cliques: the jock, the princess, the geek, the burnout, and the basket case (nowadays she would be described as “emo” – shudder). All five kids are brought together one Saturday during detention and cabin fever makes for interesting results.

John Bender: Don’t you ever talk about my friends. You don’t know any of my friends. You don’t look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn’t condescend to speak to any of my friends. So you just stick to the things you know: shopping, nail polish, your father’s BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean.
Claire Standish: SHUT UP.
John Bender: And as far as being concerned about what’s gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways of school together, you can forget it cuz it’s never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your f-ing prom.

Ok, I couldn’t help myself. Below is the rap from Teen Witch (1989) — just for giggles.

Ode to Anna Karina

She’s effortlessly chic and sublimely unaware, prancing and pouting with her bangs falling over her outlined eyes. She skips onto the screen in a playful red sundress and stuffed-dog purse, setting off behind her a blaze of crime and passion. She flashes her eyes at the camera and there it is – instant, uncompromising screen presence (much like Penelope Cruz nowadays).

Gracias to Pipeline

Anna Karina was Jean-Luc Godard’s wife and muse. I was introduced to her in the 1964 film, Pierrot le Fou, a more existential and French version of Bonnie and Clyde (1967). She plays the counterpart to Jean-Paul Belmondo. They steal cars left and right as they run away from Algerian hitmen, sporadically “settling down” in an unorthodox existence on beach shores and in restaurants. As petite and elegant as she looks, Karina plays disheveled and restless best, particularly in a memorable scene where she tiptoes down the beach, heels in hand, singing to herself about how bored she is. She’s played an array of characters, but whoever she is and whatever she is doing, she’s trouble – dynamite.

Gracias to the Criterion Collection

She caught Godard’s attention with a silly soap commercial she did in 1959. When he approached her for a role in A bout de souffle (1960), she turned it down due to a nude scene. Godard questioned her refusal, pointing to her steamy soap ads. I ain’t no trampy slut, she is said to have replied, snapping her fingers in a Z-formation. Just kidding. Actually, she said, “Are you mad? I was wearing a bathing suit in those ads — the soapsuds went up to my neck. It was in your mind that I was undressed.”

Now as a rule, I supremely dislike actors and actresses that ride on the coattails of their cinematic fame by embarking on singing careers (every single female celebretard in America, anyone?), but I actually enjoy Anna Karina’s music. She scored a hit with the song, “Sous le soleil exactement” in the 1960s, which features Karina prancing around on the beach at sunet. So now I know four more words of French.

Through experience, I’ve learned that people hate reading subtitles when watching films. When my friends come over, they want to watch something familiar and brainless like Clueless or Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, not some art house French movie. Don’t get me wrong – I love those movies, but sometimes it’s nice to sit on the couch and watch a foreign film in the comfort of unawkward solitude. Anywho, pick up a copy of Pierrot le Fou or A bout de souffle at your local library and check it out. At the least, it’ll be an experience that you can come out of and proclaim, “I’m a connossieur of the French New Wave, biotch.”

Flat? Just the way God made me.

I am proud to say I turned two people onto Veronica Mars this weekend.

My twin cousins came home from UC Berkeley and picked up the DVD set sitting on my desk. “Really now?” one said, staring at the picture of Kristen Bell on the cover, arms crossed with her best ‘tough girl’ face on. After some serious negotiating and a few flashes of the wounded puppy dog look, they promised to give it a chance. Suffice it to say, we did not leave the couch for the next four hours. They were hooked.

Gracias to The CW

The show is a cross between Twin Peaks and Gilmore Girls – it has a gripping season-long murder mystery arc and zippy dialogue full of obscure references and witticisms. Not to mention that Veronica Mars, teen sleuth, is one of the best female characters in television history.

A quick summary: Veronica Mars, age 17, resides in fictional Neptune, California, “a town without a middle class.” It’s essentially San Diego. After her best friend is murdered and her father, the local sheriff, is removed from office, Veronica commits herself to finding the true culprit while dealing with the fact that everyone at school (including her boyfriend) has turned on her because of her father’s actions. Veronica is no docile, fake intellectual like Joey Potter; she’s a cold hard bitch with revenge on her mind.

Here’s a pleasant little exchange between Veronica and someone who has had the misfortune of pissing her off:

Veronica: You prank-called Mandy?
Lenny: What if I did?
Veronica: Well, I want to congratulate you. Shake your hand. Congratulations! You’ve been named the world’s biggest cockroach. This award is given in recognition of your unparalleled lack of decency and humanity. Bravo. You’re going to die friendless and alone.
Lenny: Hey, everyone knows you’re the biggest…
Veronica: Shut up! If I want you to speak, I’ll wave a Snausage in front of your nose. You use Mandy again to convince yourself you’re not a loser, I will ruin your life. Got it?

Unfortunately, the show only lasted three seasons, thanks to the shaky merger between UPN and the WB. Now, Veronica Mars rests in my list of shows that were taken from us too soon (I’m looking at you, FOX).

Be warned if you start watching- you WILL get hooked.

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In other news, Criterion is releasing The 400 Blows on Blu-Ray March 24. This is the film that launched François Truffaut’s career and signaled the beginning of the French New Wave. I think I’m due for another viewing.

Gracias to the Criterion Collection